We all have needs.
Our bodies have needs.
And, on the side of every cereal box, you will see a guide to your “Minimum Daily Requirements” for vitamins, minerals, calories and such.
We are human. And all humans have these physical requirements to some degree. Maintaining these needs helps to preserve our physical health.
Understand, these are minimum needs. For top health, you should do more. Exercise, organic foods, lots of fiber. But, if you just want to squeak by in life, these minimums should do the trick.
We also have other needs.
And these emotional needs must also be fulfilled each day if we are to maintain our emotional health.
We often go into relationships hoping that our new honey will satisfy those needs. But what we later discover is that we are ultimately responsible for pursuing our own emotional needs. It’s just nice if we can share that pursuit with someone special.
Nevertheless, there are 17 minimum daily requirements for your emotional health that I consider non-negotiable for maintaining a solid relationship with your partner – or with anyone else for that matter.
The 17 are:
• Good will from your partner.
• Emotional support from your partner.
• Be heard by your partner and to be responded to with respect and acceptance
• Have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
• Have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
• Receive a sincere apology for any jokes or actions you find offensive.
• Clear, honest and informative answers to questions about what affects you.
• Freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
• Freedom from criticism and judgment.
• Have your work and your interests respected.
• Receive encouragement.
• Freedom from emotional and physical threat.
• Freedom from angry outburst and rage.
• Freedom from labels which devalue you.
• Be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
• Have your final decisions accepted.
• Privacy at times.
When a relationship lacks one or a few of these minimum daily emotional requirements, problems erupt. The more that are missing, the bigger the eruption.
Is this all you need? Well, personally, I want much more. I want intimacy, closeness, passion, great sex, fun, excitement, fantasy, imagination, discovery, and more.
You probably have your own list of relationship wants.
Still, if these 17 minimum daily emotional requirements are not being met in your relationship, perhaps you need to look for the rest of your wants somewhere else.
All the best,