Dear Friend,

My mom had a dream when she was young. She wanted to be a surgical nurse.

Mom grew up as a middling child in a large family. Her family lived in the boonies, and had little money. Her dad was a boat captain, and was away all week. All of the children worked hard to take care of what little they had.

Mom’s oldest brother was the star of the family. Highly intelligent, he left home after high school and put himself through Duke University, eventually becoming a respected physician. Mom admired her big brother. In those days, women didn’t dare dream of being an actual doctor. However, mom dreamed of the next best thing, which to her meant being a surgical nurse.

She imagined being in the operating room, messy as it was, helping to save lives and to really make a difference. When she was old enough, she would visit her brother and helped him in his practice. She did a great job, apparently, because her brother, who was a tough judge of character, often invited her back.

As mom grew older, of course she started dating. For many young girls in her town, marriage was the ultimate goal. Mom’s home wasn’t really a very happy place, and, like most of her siblings, she couldn’t wait to get away. However, her dream wasn’t marriage – it was college.

She often imagined marrying a handsome doctor, and helping him in his practice. Together they would save lives.

But, as is often the case, things don’t always go as planned. My mom dated, and she met my dad. He was persistent, and they fell in love. Before she knew it, my oldest sister came, and she found herself married, alone, in an apartment distant from her familiar surroundings. My dad worked four jobs just to keep them above water. Her dreams of surgery simply faded away in the face of a powerful reality. And she had a nervous breakdown.

From what I hear from others, my mom’s story isn’t really all that different from the story of many others from her generation. She was raising children in the post World War II baby boom. Her world was moving fast. My dad, a traditional guy, didn’t approve of my mom going off to college. I mean, who would raise their children? Where would the money come from? It just wasn’t a woman’s place, and besides, childish dreams had little place in the real world.

Eventually, my mom accepted her fate, as it was. She never seriously pursued her dream, though she spoke of it often to us children. I suspect that she resented my dad, and perhaps she secretly resented us kids as well, for preventing her from pursuing her dream. Though she never admitted to it.

My mom’s story is one I never want to hear again. I don’t mean from her. I mean from me. Or from you. Particularly in this age of possibilities, I believe that no one has an excuse to give up on their dreams. Particularly not if the excuse is that they now have a family to support and raise.

Certainly, changes in our life’s situation require that we adjust our approach to a dream. A now paraplegic has to adjust his or her dream of becoming an athlete. Yet I’ll bet there is some way to achieve the core of whatever drove that dream.

The handicapped person can face real challenges. And they overcome them everyday. If your challenge is that you have a job, and a family, and bills, and a cranky boss, and a dull life, well, whose fault is that? And what are you going to do about it?

What about your true dreams? Those things that defined you before your life got dull? Do you plan that they be victims of your current life’s circumstances as well?

Join us at Families Without Limits. Post, as a response to this post, your story. We all need to be inspired by your story. Or the story of one of your loved ones as I just told. It may be an ordinary story. I don’t care. Most stories are ordinary. If they are stories of the tragic failure to live a life to its fullest, we need to hear about it. If it’s the story of how someone refused to sacrifice their life on the funeral pyre of conventional life expectations, we definitely want to hear about it.

Together, we can save an entire generation from the nervous breakdown that accompanies the loss of our life’s true purpose. We can prevent a tragedy of generational proportions.

Will you join me? It all starts with your post. Please, tell us about it…

All the best,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

When people with families begin to dream about living a creative family lifestyle, one crafted around the dreams and goals of family members instead of by their circumstances, there always seem to be the same perceived barriers that stand in the way. At least when those dreams require the family to become more mobile and flexible in the way they live day-to-day.

Two of the greatest perceived barriers to breaking with a conventional fixed family lifestyle are careers and schooling for the children. Most jobs are tied to a physical office, and traditional schools are physical places. If you need to be mobile, this is a problem.

There is a great deal of information on the Internet about portable careers and work that only requires a laptop and an Internet connection. I’m not sure how much I can add to that here. There is also plenty of information available regarding alternative educational opportunities. However, there seems to be little information about how families can achieve a quality education for their children without being tied to any one physical place, and without the parents having to trade their previous career in an office for a new career as their kid’s new school teacher.

I will be presenting to you as many educational options for mobile families as I can discover, along with references to where you can obtain more information. If you are part of a family that has mastered the “portable school” or its equivalent, I’d would really love to hear from you.

We are all here to help each other to remove barriers to our dreams. At least that’s why I’m here. I hope that you feel the same way.

More on this subject in future posts.

All the best,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

Generally speaking, I’m a pretty shy guy. I prefer not to spout out my opinions to the world, at least in person. It is true, I think, that the Internet as a medium can help anyone to feel more at ease communicating their honest thoughts. It has certainly helped me, and I am the better for it.

The Internet can also be used to cause harm in relative anonymity. Perhaps our true character comes to the fore when we are free to act behind the secrecy of the avatar, without obvious immediate consequences to our actions. I keep that in mind whenever I interface with anyone online. I try to remember that’s a real person on the other end of that avatar.

I know that anytime I interact online it’s a real opportunity to discover something and someone new. That’s exciting! But those interactions are also opportunities to prove what an ass I am. I hope I don’t disappoint myself or you.

All the best, and in the States, have a terrific Memorial Day!

Hugh

Dear Friend,

What is a “creative family lifestyle,” and why would anyone want to live one?

To me, living a creative family lifestyle really means living a life intentionally crafted by me. A life crafted around the pursuit of my most closely held dreams and desires. A life spent in pursuit of my true life’s purpose.

And when I am a part of a family, as I am, it means working and living together, discovering, nurturing and sharing our unique dreams with each other, and doing our darndest to help each other live out those dreams while staying together as a supportive and loving family unit.

Certainly, some family members will ultimately have dreams and desires that necessarily take them physically away from the family unit, and that’s fine. In fact, to prevent such a separation from occurring in the name of preserving family cohesion is, in effect, emotional kidnapping.

Nevertheless, a reasonably functional family will want to do things on occasion as a unit, and to enjoy each other’s company. This form of family function is (or at least should be in my opinion) a life-long pursuit. Long after you are grown and have left the nest, you will likely feel the desire to share that old filial closeness, both with your birth family and with your new, nuclear family, plus extended family and friends.

Unfortunately, many birth families break up almost entirely once the children leave the nest. Today’s workplace often takes people to far corners of the globe. Yet with modern communications and (sometimes) reasonably-priced travel, a family that wants to be together, can be together.

Regardless of the value that solid family ties can bring to your life, if your birth family tends to be less functional, or even emotionally destructive, then you probably should stay away from them. This is a hard decision to make. And it is generally riddled with guilty feelings. Those guilty feelings are often encouraged by certain family members who think that they can manipulate you back “into the fold.” But you are not a sheep, you are a vibrant human being. And you have a right to be happy. You don’t have an obligation to put up with their s**t.

If you do not feel the desire to associate with your family relations, ask yourself, “Why?” Are they truly destructive in your presence? Do they actively try to undermine your happiness? Are they co-dependent and looking for you to carry them emotionally? If so, then your decision to distance yourself from them is likely a sound one.

On the other hand, are you harboring old grudges or anger? Most of us do, to a degree. We will never forgive our parents for not living up to the perfect images that we unrealistically held of them in our infancy. Do you still carry anger for an old wrong? Carrying this old anger or other negative emotion around with you means that you are the cause of the discomfort that you feel when the subject of your family comes up. Your instinctive reaction to that memory is interfering with your happiness. And it is probably interfering with your ability to be the top-notch parent that you want to be for your children. You may actually be passing some of that old, negative energy, on to your children.

If you determine, after honest contemplation, and possibly with the help of a good counselor, that some part of your family relations is destructive to your happiness, then you can take action to separate from them, without guilt. If you find that a major part of your discomfort with family derives from old emotional baggage, then you need to learn to move beyond those old emotions. Try meditation. Counseling can also be a great way to face and then permanently dismiss these ghosts of the past.

The point of this discussion is that you cannot pursue a creative family lifestyle if you don’t really enjoy being with your family. Get to the root of what interferes with you developing a full connection with your spouse and kids. Intentionally crafting your personal life, while respecting and allowing other family members to do the same, and while maintaining a close filial connection, is the definition of a fully functioning composite family life.

A composite family life means a life blended in such a way that the combination is stronger than the sum of its parts. It’s synergy. It is not a compromise lifestyle. If you feel that being with your family requires you to compromise on the honest pursuit of your personal dreams, then you will resent your family for “forcing” you to accept that compromise. And sitting in quiet resentment among your family is no way to live. Such an emotional state cannot help but bleed over into your actions and attitudes as a parent, for example. And resentment tends to grow over time if not addressed.

You cannot live in bliss if you hold onto negative emotions. To live within a family without limits, you must first discover the true value of your family as a spice that can enrich your life experience instead of spoiling your happiness.

If the quality of your family life experience is not great then now is the time to get to the bottom of your issues. Heading off to Tahiti will not bring you instant happiness. It will not solve old family problems or attitudes. A line from a movie once said, “This is an island, Bud. If you didn’t bring it here, you won’t find it here.” The character was referring to the search for bliss and happiness in exotic locales.

So, the first step to living a family life without limits, to creating the family lifestyle of your dreams, is to clean up old business. You may have to bulldoze the old place before you start building the new one.

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

Choosing an RV for extended large family travel involves more than just interior decor and layout.

For example, there are many different classes of RVs that you can choose from. These range from small pop-up pull behinds to large “Class A” buses that extend over forty feet long.

The classes of RVs can be roughly broken down as follows:

TOWABLE RVs

1. Pop-ups – These are small pull behind campers with a hard bottom and a top that is cranked up to full height once you have reached your destination. The sides are made of tent material. Living conditions are fine for overnight excursions in good weather. For my family of wussies (and I am King Wussie) it is a no go. Way too small and Spartan.

2. Travel trailers – This is what most people think of when they imagine a trailer. It hooks to a car or truck hitch and pulls behind your vehicle. These are either all hard sided or they may be hybrids (regular hard-sided trailers with tent pop-outs to add extra interior space when needed). We have been using a hybrid for several years and it has served us quite well. However, for our extended excursions we want something much larger and more sophisticated. Travel trailers are generally built very light so that they can be pulled by larger cars or light pickups. The light weight means that a great deal of the interior is essentially plastic and cardboard – not exactly the most durable of materials for my army to live in.

3. “Fifth wheel” trailers – These are also pull behind models. However, they are generally much too heavy to be pulled by anything but a heavy duty diesel pickup truck. In any case, they must be pulled by a truck due to the way they are hitched to their towing vehicle.

Fifth wheel RVs tend to have the most up-to-date interiors. Some fifth wheels, called “toy haulers,” These vehicles have a rear garage area designed for storage of motor bikes and four wheelers. This garage area can also be utilized as a large bedroom, with beds that electrically come down from the ceiling. making this space multi-purpose – ideal in a structure with limited room.

My family are wanderers. The journey is our destination. We plan to spend many hours on the road. Once we wore the rubber right off the tires on our hybrid camper, and had to sleep in a Wal-Mart parking lot over a weekend in Canada in order to get new ones. Therefore, driving comfort and safety take a very high priority position in our thinking.

TOW VEHICLES

Some light travel trailers can be towed by your everyday driving vehicle. However, all larger towables must be towed by heavy duty pickup trucks, as these are the only vehicles with the towing capacity to handle these large RVs. Generally, diesel truck models tow better than the gasoline engine models.

If you do not own a tow vehicle, I strongly suggest that you pick out your towable RV FIRST. Once you know what you will need to tow, you can spec the truck that will handle your RV. Do not trusty RV salesmen to tell you what vehicle will tow a certain RV. Unfortunately, many of them either lie or just don’t know what thjey are talking about. Some of the better guides to picking out a tow vehicle can be found the Changin’ Gears website at http://changingears.com/rv-sec-tow-vehicles-ratings.shtml. NOTE: Towing is serious business. If you aren’t sure what you are doing then you need to get educated. Remember, that’s your family in the back seat.

The passenger capacity of your pickup is the maximum number of people that you can take with you, as most States and Provinces do not allow passengers to ride in a trailer when on the road. For all factory spec pickups, the maximum passenger capacity is either five or six passengers.

You can buy a “bunkhouse” model fifth wheel that sleeps an army, but you are strictly limited by the pickup itself to transporting six people in total. That means no nanny and no friends on our trips. It also means that everyone is squeezed into that truck cab for up to eight hours a day. Gotta pee? Stopping these things is not always easy or convenient.

I did discover a truck customizer in Texas who will cut out the back wall behind the rear seat on a crew cab pickup and install a fiberglass third row seat that sits in the bed itself. It took me years to find that guy. And I don’t live anywhere near him. And what will that kind of modification do to the resale value of my pickup? I don’t know. An interesting option, nontheless.

MOTORIZED RVs

This leads us to the motorized RVs, generally referred to as “motorhomes.” These are RVs that can be driven under their own power, and thus do not need to be towed. These also come in several classes.

4. The Class Bs are basically very nice, dressed up conversion vans, and generally include a bed and a portable bathroom with shower nozzle. These are tight living for a couple, but some get decent gas mileage. These are way too small for my crew. These vehicles often run in the $80K price range.

5. The Class Cs have pickup or van fronts attached to an RV box behind. The cab is open in back to the living area. Passengers CAN ride in the living area while the vehicle is driven, which is nice. If you have an on-board generator (which many do), the kids can watch TV, videos, play video games, pop popcorn, surf the Net or even fix a sandwich for their dad, all while dad is dutifully driving.

Class Cs also have the advantage of often having an extra bed in the area of the RV box that hangs over the roof of the truck/van front cab (called the “cabover”). That extra bed is handy for kids and yet is out of the way, not stealing space from the living area. Class Cs typically have one bedroom in the back, with a full-sized shower and restroom. A few have rear multipurpose rooms that serve as a den/playroom/office in the daytime, but have a pull out sleep sofa that converts the space into a bedroom at night.

Many class Cs are powered by a large gasoline engine, such as the Ford V-10. Others have more powerful diesel engines. Prices can range from $100K on up.

6. A small subclass of the Class Cs motorhomes are called the “Super Cs.” These typically have a medium duty truck front, and a larger, higher quality finish interior, more akin to the Class A models described below. One advantage of the Super Cs is that they often have the cabover bed design, which Class As do not. Super Cs typically also have large diesel engines, giving them the deep power to cross mountain ranges on long journeys. These diesel engines are in the front of the vehicle, which can lead to more cab noise than with a rear-engine Class A bus. Also, Super Cs are built on a commercial medium-duty truck frame that is used extensively in the business truck market. This means that these trucks are generally reliable and tried-and-true designs. However, it also means that they are not designed for driving comfort. The addition of air-ride shocks, air-ride seats in the cab, and sound insulation under the hood can make a big difference in the driving experience of these vehicles. Super C motorhomes often run in the $150K to $300K and up price range.

7. The next type of RV is the Class A. These are the top of the heap in RVing. These run from the low end, big boxes with a V10 gas engine in front, to true buses with big diesel engines in the rear (rear engines are much quieter than front engines). Typical designs have only one bedroom, and maybe a pullout sofa in the living area. Without a cabover, sleeping space is more limited than with a Class C, but these models often have multiple slideouts (areas on the side of the vehicle that electrically extend when the vehicle is stopped, creating instant interior space. Slideouts can make a huge difference in living area, and are highly recommended for a large family. In fairness, slideouts are also often available on fifth wheels and Class Cs model RV
s. Class As run in price from $100K plus for smaller, more basic class A gas engine models, to well over $1 million for superior quality bus models.

RV VALUE

As you can see, the best value for the dollar by far are the pull behind models. Motorhomes can cost from double to five times or more than the towables for the same living space. So why would anyone by a motorhome? For the experience. For the ability to not just tale your home with you, but to actually live in your home while you travel.

If you are a destination traveller, and the majorit of your time is spent parked in campgrounds, then towables make rhe most sense. The nicer fifth wheels can proivide you with a calibre of interior finish that approaches that in the finer Class As at a substantuially reduced price.

If you are gypsies like my family, and just can’t hold still, then perhaps you need to consider a motorhome. Just save up your money, and make sure your life savings weren’t invested with Bernie Madoff.

Don’t worry, this isn’t turning into the RV Blog. But when you learn as much as I have on this subject, and realize how little info is out there, for larger families in particular, I figured that somebody’s got to get this message to the world.

If you have further questions on this subject, or want to add your two cents worth, just post a comment to this post.

I find that RVers are some of the kindest people I have ever met. Trying RVing won’t just introduce you to your continent. It will also warm your heart.

All the best,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

If you read yesterday’s blog post, then you know that my family is in the process of purchasing an RV to drive across North America for the first leg of our Families Without Limits adventure.

We have a larger than average family. This has made our choice of an ideal vehicle much more difficult than we ever imagined.

If you have ever thought of buying an RV then you need to know the information I am including below. It just might save you years of research. If RVs just ain’t your thing, well, sorry! ;-))

First, a little background. The term “RV” is the abbreviation for “recreational vehicle.” It’s a broad term that covers everything from a tiny one person pull-behind trailer to a multimillion dollar Hollywood star’s tour bus. And in between, there’s a lot to choose from. Unfortunately, all of that lot is pretty much the same.

The RV industry, practically all of which is based in or near the small northern Indiana town of Napannee, seems to build for exactly three markets. Every single RV built is configured solely to meet the needs of these three groups.

The first market includes anyone with big bucks. And I mean big. If you have half-a-million dollars or more to drop on a mobile palace then you don’t need my advice. Just call up one of the leading RV builders or bus conversion outfits and they’ll be glad to empty your wallet. Customization is no problem for you. Or them.

The RV industry also builds models targeted at two other markets. These other RV models are standardized on canned designs and range in price from $10K to $250K plus.

The second market the RV industry builds for is “grandma and grandpa.” You see, grandma and grandpa are retired and bored. So they take their nest egg and buy a big RV, buy a permanent parking space in an RV park in Arizona or Florida, park it there every winter, and sit out front next to the plastic flamingos, waving to the neighbors who are walking their poodles.

The third market the RV industry builds for is Bubba and his wife Doris (sorry if I offend anyone with these names). You see, Bubba works hard down at the plant, and on weekends he likes to do two things. First, during racin’ season, Bubba takes his crew in the RV down to the NASCAR races. He sits with the family amid the incredible noise and exhaust while watching the race on his outside-mounted mega-screen TV (with earphones so he can hear over the race car engine noise behind him). When racing season is over, he gathers the gang once again and heads out into the desert with his four wheelers and motorbikes to get good and dirty.

I have absolutely no problem with any of these fine people or their hobbies. But I do have a problem with the apparent fact that everyone in Napannee, Indiana, seems to think that these two distinct constituencies make up 100% of the population of RV users worldwide.

Here’s some insight into how the “Nappanee Mafia” have designed RVs for their second and third RV markets.

First, the granny models have a delightful “doilie” decor. One queen-sized bed, and a nice sitting area. The sofa folds out into a bed for those rare occasions when the grandkid stops by for a visit and needs to take a nap. If your family needs more sleeping space, you’re out of luck. Also, there are few seat belts, and none are configured to handle modern car seats.

Next, the “Bubba” models typically have a racing stripe decor, and a big “garage” in the back. They even have an on-board fuel tank so you can refill your bike on-the-go! Again, seat belts are haphazardly arranged and are rarely appropriate for car seats. Some of these designs are quite modern, but the focus if definitely on the needs of the racing crowd.

Since I’m tight, I don’t ride a bike, I don’t hang out at NASCAR events, and I don’t care for doilies, My family and I have to adapt. There are ways to turn these limited designs into comfortable living and travel quarters for a decent-sized family. You just have to get creative.

Tomorrow I’ll talk about how we plan to do just that.

See you then!

Hugh

Dear Friend,

The problem with big families is that they don’t fit anywhere.

I never thought about this problem until I experienced it, but everything in our society is designed for the family with 2.4 kids and a dog. If you happen to have four kids, a cat, a few kid friends, and a spouse, a lot of things get complicated.

For example, when my first child was born, my wife and I sold our six-month-old BMW Z3 convertible and bought a Toyota Sienna minivan. My driving experience has gone downhill ever since.

The Sienna was a great automobile, and gave us over eleven years of reliable service while enduring unspeakable abuse from my family. And it smelled all the time, too. However, once our kid count started climbing, we just couldn’t fit everyone and all of the kid paraphernalia, plus my tiny bag, in that van. So we went out and bought a full sized GMC conversion van.

Actually, my wife negotiated a good deal on that big monster. At the time we had a nanny with us from Argentina. In her country, the entire family would endure long journeys in a tiny compact car, luggage in their lap. When she saw our new van, she promptly dubbed it, “the Spaceship.” The name stuck.

You just don’t have many choices when your family is big. What else could we buy that fit all of us and didn’t resemble a school bus? Not much, really.

I have also discovered that you receive little condolence from others when this issue arises. You kind of get the feeling that they are thinking, “Geez, if it’s such a problem maybe you should’ve gotten that snip job a bit earlier, Bud.”

Buying a new RV for a big family is even more complicated. You’d be amazed how complicated.

RVs can be great fun, and the perfect vehicle for transporting a larger family. There’s no flitting in and out of hotels every night. Your kids can bring their favorite (small) toys and not worry about forgetting them in a hotel room. You can cook your own meals if you want. It really is a portable home!

However, purchasing an RV is not a project for the faint of heart. Tomorrow, I’ll talk about my family’s “adventure” in choosing an RV that meets the needs of my “army.”

Talk to you tomorrow!

Hugh

Dear Friend,

Are you familiar with a typical business plan? If you are a small business owner and have ever applied for a significant bank loan, then you likely know what I am talking about.

A business plan is a carefully crafted plan that discerns where you are today, where you plan to go, and what steps you plan to take to get there (with relevant budgets attached, of course). The idea of a business plan seems quite prudent. I mean, if you don’t have a map, how can you expect to reach your destination?

The problem with business plans in the 21st Century, or for that matter long-term plans of any sort, is that they are worthless the moment you create them. This is because they are based on assumptions and guesses that seem likely to be accurate today, but are unlikely to actually be accurate in the future because today’s world moves with such speed and chaos that any meaningful prediction is, as a practical matter, impossible.

For years, businesses, governments and other organizations have guided their direction and progress by careful planning, so as to take the shortest and most efficient approach to their goals. The socialist government model is essentially based on the idea that a planned government is an efficient and effective government. Such planning today is an exercise in futility, and therefore the utmost in inefficiency.

So, what are organizations and individuals to do? Just drift along on the chaos and see where it leads us? As a result of the continued false belief in planning by some, drifting in the chaos is exactly what has been occurring. If you don’t believe me, just look at the inefficiency and failures of large institutions and markets today – those entities most controlled by central planning.

The solution to dealing with 21st Century chaos is not to let the seas take us where they may, but rather to develop the skills of an expert sea captain, so that we can best maneuver our ships in the waves of chaos, and perhaps even harness this wild energy to drive us to where we really want to go.

Forget planning. Develop your personal skill sets so that you are ready for whatever comes. Stay flexible and be ready for opportunity from any quarter. Always be prepared to think “outside of the box,” and use your prepared state to pounce on any opportunity as it passes in front of you before others catch it first.

Southwest Airlines had an action plan on its shelf at all times for jumping on likely opportunities as they became available. Notice, this was not a fixed plan, but an action plan – a plan of what specific actions would need to be set in place on a moment’s notice so that their organization could take advantage of strategic opportunities that might appear.

How did Southwest know what to prepare for? They couldn’t know for sure. However, they spent time brainstorming about the possibilities, and then setting up specific scenario action plans that they could pull from the shelf and institute long before their competitors could react. They regularly utilized this tactic to beat their competitors to the punch and built a great airline as a result.

Whether you are in business or not, considering the future can be a frightening prospect. Don’t worry about the chaos. Focus on your personal skill sets, brainstorm and create scenario action plans like the folks at Southwest Airlines, and act without hesitation when a likely scenario appears on the horizon.

Best of luck to you now and always!

All the best,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

Have you ever found yourself using the phrase, “before kids…” when describing your life to another. Have you noticed that most people divide their adult life into two halves. The first is “before kids,” and the second is “after kids.”

Before kids (BK) you lived your life, your way. You did not compromise. You didn’t have to. But now, after kids (AK), you do. Or rather, you don’t do, anything as you did before.

Have you ever dared to really ask yourself, “Why?” I mean, why do you have to cease being you, a unique human being, living your life in your own unique way? The answer is obvious, of course. It’s the kids, dummy. They are why.

My mission is to show you, through taught techniques and real life examples, that you, an ordinary person or couple, can have children and still keep living your own unique lifestyle. And you can do this without being extreme or weird. You just have to be creative and open minded. You also must unlearn a great many stereotypes and downright falsehoods that have been spread through the years about what it takes to be a great parent.

The truth is that we have all been sold a bill of goods. We have been taught that, once we have a child, all fun must stop (except fun that we sneak). One parent must get to work and slave to support your new bundle of joy. The other must start baking cookies and transform her ideal body image from that of a sultry sexpot (BK) to that of Aunt Bee (AK).

Now, if your BK life involved nightly drug orgies or otherwise involved a great deal of dangerous activities inappropriate for the safety or health of children, then you will have to make adjustments. I think just about everyone understands this. However, where is it written that you must disappear into a cubicle or into desperate housewife hell just because you fell in love and had a child?

This is the line that I draw in the sand. It is the line that you must cross if you want to live a more fulfilling life than the dreary lifestyle doled out to you by traditional society. It is now that you must take positive action and be willing to think outside of the traditional family lifesyle “box.”

If being the authentic you requires that you make a marked departure from the lifestyle that you adopted AK, or whenever, then it’s time that you found out how to get your life back on track. I plan to show you how to take your life back.

I hope that you’ll stick around, as my family and yours discover together all of the unique ways that we can experience and share our lives together. As families. Outside of the box.

All the best,

Hugh