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Family

Dear Friend,

Sometimes, even when you do what you love, something is missing.

As humans, we are, by nature, social creatures. Yes, some of us may be perfectly at peace living alone in a mountain cabin. However, most people need human companionship to feel fulfilled.

The people we hold close to us, I call our “family.” These may be friends, distant cousins, or a traditional, nuclear family, it matters not to me. Whomever you feel good being around on a regular basis, that is your family in my eyes.

Sometimes, the folks that we hang out with are not those who make us feel good. We feel forced together by the accident of birth or otherwise.

My oldest son complains often about having to hang out with his younger siblings. My younger son can’t stand my youngest, who effectively dethroned him as the baby of the family. No matter what, in his eyes, our youngest can do no right.

I think that this difference in definition of the word “family” has a significant impact on the way most folks initially react to the concept of Families Without Limits.

Yes, most of my writing does assume that a family is of the traditional, nuclear sort. Nevertheless, the core of what I write is not meant to preserve any particular family structure. I am not on a mission to protect the sanctity of the nuclear family, although if I help to save some of these, I will be happy.

My mission is to encourage individuals to pursue their dreams regardless of the nature and status of their family relations. Sometimes, that actually means that I encourage individuals to pursue dreams in spite of their traditional family’s influences.

My goal is simple. First and foremost, I want to help people to find personal peace and happiness. I want to help them to understand that they can achieve this by taking steps in the right direction, no matter what their situation in life currently is. And I do not shy away from encouraging people to change the makeup of those around them that I call “family” if those others truly represent obstacles to personal happiness.

Here’s to families – those built around the healthy happiness of all of their members.

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

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The Bear

The Bear of Red Rock CanyonDear Friend,

As my family and I innocently walked among the prairie grasses of Red Rock Canyon in Waterton Park, Alberta, Canada, we were suddenly confronted by an image that no one wishes for.  Directly ahead of us were the gleaming eyes of a curious, possibly hungry, black bear.

The bear was walking slowly but persistently towards our little band of explorers.  The question was, who was going to give in first in this dangerous game of “chicken.”

Suddenly, and without warning, a crazy lady in a flowery dress ran in front of us with a camera, apparently intent on personally introducing herself to this wild creature, or maybe just getting a photo of her and the creature paling around.

Next, and just as suddenly, an entire hoard of tourist types, cameras in hand, began charging the poor creature (for I felt sorry for it now).

The once formidable predator had now become the hunted, and turned tail and ran quickly into the distant brush.

Honestly, if I had been he, I would have run too.  That lady’s dress was really ugly.

That is the story of our now famous run-in with the Black Bear of Red Rock Canyon.  It was a moment that I shall never forget.

All the best,

Hugh

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Ancient Answers to Modern Questions

Dear Friend,

I had the pleasure of re-tweeting (repeating) a Twitter post by Colin Lewis (twitter.com/colinlewis), a respected European writer and philanthropist.
This post consisted of a list of the “Six Mistakes of Man”, as written by Cicero, the great Roman writer and philosopher who lived about 2000 years ago.

Although these are very old rules for life, it is amazing how timely they remain.  In fact, I question whether we have added anything to these after so many other great minds have considered the same Great Questions.

Cicero’s Six Mistakes of Man are as follows:

1. The delusion that personal gain is made by crushing others.

2. The tendency to worry about things that cannot be changed or corrected.

3. Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it.

4. Refusing to set aside trivial preferences.

5. Neglecting development and refinement of the mind (not reading & studying)

6. Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.

Can you improve on these?  I can’t.

If only more folks would take these to heart, imagine how much misery could have been avoided in our world.

Wishing you all the best,

Hugh

P.S. I WILL tell the rest of the bear story. I promise.

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Grin and "Bear" It

Dear Friend,

Just a very short note as we head back into uncertain Internet territory.

All is going well after our run in with yesterday’s black bear (more later).

The children are experiencing more here than they could ever experience back home, living a conventional life.

Your’s could too.  Why don’t you join us?

All the best,

Hugh

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Heads Smashed In

Dear Friend,

Today my family and I enjoyed Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump.

No, it’s not a punk rock band.  It’s a UNESCO World Heritage Site and Museum in southern Alberta, Canada, that preserves the ancient history of the Blackfoot Nation, and one of the methods that the Blackfoot used, before the introduction of horses and guns into their culture, to hunt the Buffalo herds of the north west plains of the US and Canada.

In the days prior to horses and guns, it was no mean task to hunt the fast moving Buffalo herds.  Many techniques were used, with varying success.  Eventually, one technique gained popularity.  This involved a complex, coordinated effort to stampede a herd of Buffalo over a cliff, where the fall would kill them, and the tribe could then butcher the animals and preserve their meat and other resources for the coming winter.

A successful buffalo jump could mean the difference between a healthy winter and one of starvation and death for the Blackfoot.

Once European colonists brought horses and modern firearms to the plains, however, the Blackfoot found easier ways to hunt the buffalo, and the buffalo jump technique, apparently utilized for millennia and a defining component of Blackfoot culture, was quickly abandoned.

Today the Blackfoot still respect and revere their old tradition, even though it is no longer a part of their lives.

When I study history, and particularly ancient history, I am struck by how much energy went into simply obtaining food.  In every culture, and especially in those cultures that eked out an existence closer to the polar regions, huge amounts of energy went into acquiring, preserving, and storing food.

Animals, too, dedicate a huge portion of their own resources to just obtaining a meal.

In poorer regions of our planet, people still starve.  But for many of us today, and our numbers are quickly growing around the world, hunger can be satisfied by a quick stop at a local dining establishment.

In other words, one of the primary historical driving forces of human existence, and of animal existence, is simply no longer an issue in the lives of many people today.

One of the less recognized impacts of this change has been to make the survival instinct a less important factor in the lives of many.  In fact, many of our old instincts are today actually detrimental to our future survival.

When I wrote “Families Without Limits,”  I wanted to reach people with the wake up call that we, as humans, are still living by instincts and traditions that were originally based on the survival instinct, but that today only serve to insure our continued unhappiness.

Today, perhaps for the first time in human history, our human generation no longer pines for food.  Instead, we pine for a deeper sense of purpose, of satisfaction.  It is this new drive to find our place in the world that requires us to learn a new approach to living our lives that is designed around this new goal.  It also requires us to reject many, perhaps dear and cherished, traditions that are, unfortunately, built around a survival lifestyle model.  Today, we must create new cultural traditions that specifically help us to find the deeper meaning and fulfillment that we all seem to crave.

Rejecting aspects of your native culture and consciously choosing new cultural traditions is a rare event in human history.  It can be accompanied by great turmoil as many traditionalists resist change, and other folks simply wish to force a careful examination so that worthwhile traditions are not forever lost in the zest to pursue a new, apparently healthier way of life.

Might I suggest that we look to the Blackfoot Nation for a successful model of how to quickly adopt new traditions when they are clearly superior to our old ones, while we still revere those old traditions for the critical role they played in our culture’s historic development?

Just something to think about.

Talk to you again soon,

Hugh

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A Study in Cultural Understanding

Dear Friend,

During my family’s time here in western Canada, we have noticed some subtle, and not so subtle, “cultural” differences between the people of my home town in Virginia and the people here.

First, what shines out about the people of both places is the basic decency and gentle kindness that I find in people all over.  Practically all of the people that we have interacted with personally have been both pleasant and helpful.

We have always heard that Canadians are famous for their politeness, and their courtesy.  In our travels in eastern Canada, this reputation held up well.

However, in western Canada, perhaps because of this reputation, we have been surprised to run into a rather strange phenomenon of aggressive middle-aged male drivers in pickup trucks.  Yes, these guys in pickup trucks seem to have no turn signals, move around other traffic like it is a fixed object, and otherwise just chip away at the old courteous-driving reputation of Canadians generally.

Being the overzealous researcher that I am, of course I did some Internet research at our next campsite on this subject of “discourteous western Canadian drivers.”  Believe it or not, I found a recent survey that supported our findings.  Apparently, Albertans were more likely to agree with the statement that, “Aggressive driving is on the upswing,” than folks from any other area of Canada, while people surveyed from the Atlantic Provinces (the area of Canada that we had last visited, where drivers seemed to us to be generally courteous) were least likely to agree with that statement.

Another phenomenon we have run into is the habit of folks to ignore, or at least to not acknowledge, strangers in their midst.  We even experienced a few in-store body-to-body collisions where the other party just went on and did not say “Excuse me,” or whatever else might normally be expected in my home town.  In some places, such a bump without acknowledgment might be considered a threat or a bullying act.  This was not the case here.  I have observed by myself several incidences with ordinary strangers where attempts to make casual eye contact or verbal “excuse me’s” and other courtesies were not acknowledged or were met with blank stares.

In these incidences I never saw intentional rudeness.  In fact, whenever a person’s attention was successfully captured, people have been universally pleasant.  It has been the casual, stranger-to-stranger interface, or rather the lack of it, that has taken us a bit off guard.

In my Internet research, I came across a document from British Columbia that was meant as a guide to Canadian culture for foreigners recently in the country.  This document clearly talks about the importance of acknowledging strangers and using the courtesy phrases “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me,” liberally.  In fact, this document could have easily been re-labeled a “Guide to Virginia Courtesies.”

So I don’t really have an answer to this phenomenon.  Perhaps I am observing a cultural shift that has not been fully recognized?  That would be cool.

Nevertheless, the longer we spend here in western Canada, the more it becomes apparent to me that this cultural idiosyncrasy is at odds with the general cultural attitudes here.  In fact, I think that most US residents, and especially those from one of the southern states like myself, will fit in quite well here.

As an example of what I believe is a truer reflection of the Canadian culture, I relate the following incident.

Last weekend we dropped our friend off at the Calgary airport around 5:30 a.m. so that she could catch her flight back home.  She had been traveling with us but had to get back home.

We drove her to the airport in our RV, and when we arrived at the terminal we followed the traffic up a narrow, one-lane ramp to the “Departures” area.  As we approached the drop off area, I happened to notice a walking bridge that crossed over this drive just beyond the ramp and in front of the airport, attaching the airport terminal to a parking garage.

Now, all measurements in Canada are generally listed in metric units.  However, the City of Calgary apparently thought that the height listings posted on their bridge overhangs should also be in feet and inches.

So, as I drove up this ramp, and sleepily headed to the gate drop-off point, my eyes glanced up just in time to notice the printed “12 ft. 9 in.” on the fast approaching overhead walkway.  I instinctively hit the breaks a few feet away, as my brain reminded me that our RV had an overall height of thirteen feet, two inches.

At that moment I realized several disturbing facts.  First, we had just narrowly avoided a very close haircut and untimely removal of our two roof-mounted air conditioning units and TV antenna.  Second, we were now trapped between a low-overhead bridge and a one-way, one-lane ramp that now boasted a continuous flow of early morning airport traffic.  We were stuck.  And good.

Our friend just bailed out and gestured goodbye as I contemplated how many tickets I was about to receive and whether we would all be on the nightly news for single-handedly stopping-up vehicle traffic at the Calgary airport.

However, despite having been asleep minutes before, my wife characteristically jumped up and out of the RV, flagged down a security person, and within minutes we were being courteously escorted the wrong way down the one-way up-ramp, and out of the airport.

We received no ticket.  There was no posturing or threats.  There was no passing the buck.  There was just, “No problem, eh.”

The “problem” was solved and all was well.  There was no measurable slowdown of airport traffic.  No threats.  It was painless.

I am certain that, back home, in some major city, some very bad, very tough, ex-special forces type who was working the streets of Kandahar last week would be dealing with me in a much less civil or friendly tone than I experienced here.

At our local, small-town airport in Virginia, I hope that I would have been treated well under similar circumstances. Nevertheless, even there I have had a run in with well-meaning but, in my opinion, way over testosterone-filled security personnel.

At the very end of my family’s “fun-filled,” multi-day, sleeping-in-airports return from Buenos Aires two years ago, I was verbally manhandled by several policemen at my home airport who made me feel like I was, at that moment, a student in today’s Tehran instead of simply a dad from an old and respected local family.

Totally exhausted as I was at that moment, I was not allowed to approach my car.  I was told to keep my hands in sight.  I was being eyed as if I might have a bomb under my crumply traveling clothes.

I still have no idea why these guys thought that I was so scary.  In the end, they didn’t even charge me with anything.  I wonder if perhaps they had watched too many Hollywood movies or had attended just one-too-many security briefings that prepared them for “worst-case” scenarios.  Perhaps their hyper-vigilance was turning even casual interactions with ordinary people like me into that worst-case scenario, “just-in-case?”

Travel opens your eyes.  No place is perfect.  Good and bad is everywhere.

I have discovered that, by far, the good outweighs the bad, and the bad can generally be handled as long as you don’t over react to it.

If you watch the nightly news and think that, just maybe, those foreign countries are too dangerous to travel to, think again.  Sometimes the most dangerous place that you can be is in your own backyard.

Talk to you again when I get a good Internet signal!

All the best,

Hugh

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Climbing the Rockies

Jasper_115smDear Friend,

It’s been a bit since I’ve posted. And in that time our crew has driven quite a ways across western Canada. In fact, we’ve finally reached the Rockies!

We are in Jasper, Alberta. This is a Canadian National Park area, and it’s easy to see why.

The scenery is breathtaking. And wild animals abound. In our short time here we have seen mountain sheep walking along a shear cliff-side, and a large male elk grazing along some railroad tracks, right beside a busy tourist area.

My wife has been disappointed to have missed these photo ops, but I am sure there will be more.

We brought a friend along who up until now has been helping with the kids, but she flies back out of Calgary, in southern Alberta, on Friday morning, so we have a deadline to reach that city before then.

That’s a small achievement, considering we are just about there. However, it puts a bit of a crimp into my relaxed travel style (I hate deadlines). And we have been running a bit from scenic site to scenic site, without being able to stop and dig-in a bit at any one place.

A fast paced travel schedule feels too much like a vacation to me. Time is limited on vacations, so most folks try to squeeze as much as they can into that time.

When you live on the road, however, time is, essentially infinite. There is no need to rush. And you can always go back to some place you like if you want to. There is no particular route, because the road itself, and all of the places along it, are home. Your travel path may resemble the flight path of a bumble bee, but it doesn’t matter. You move when you want to, because you want to, in any direction that you wish.

This is freedom in its truest incarnation. Now if only I can get my wife to understand this…

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

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Mountains Ho!

Dear Friend,

Tonight my family and I are taking in the beauty of one of Canada’s many National Parks.  We are in Western Manitoba, and just finished climbing the first mountain range (or the first hill for that matter) that we have seen thus far in Canada.

The Warrior is running like a champ.  Her diesel didn’t even warm up while climbing these hills.  That gives me confidence as we look west towards the mountains of Alberta and British Columbia.

The gang headed out in search of dinner, and to give dad a few moments rest after a long drive.

Incredibly, there is excellent cell coverage here – the best we have experienced thus far in Manitoba, even though we are literally in the middle of nowhere.

So Internet connectivity is great, but expensive.

I am using my Verizon Air Card here in Canada.  It sends and receives Internet via the cell phone network.  Our US and Canada mobile Internet plan is running us $220 per month.  That is in addition to the $89.95 for the US and Canada cell phone coverage.  And God help you if you go over your allotted minutes/megabytes for the month.  Last month’s bill, with overages, was over $600.

There aren’t a lot of Internet options for the boonies that are available in North America.

Satellite Internet for RVs is available, though from very few vendors.  The mainstream RV supply companies do not offer it anymore.

Now if you want to watch the boob-tube while driving down the highway, there’s no problem there.  Plenty of options to choose from.  I guess that the industry is still focused on the 70+ year old crowd, who still actually seem to hang on every word of the nightly news.  I feel very sorry for them.  They are being terrorized into their grave every night so that the networks can sell a few more bars of soap.

Anyway, satellite Internet equipment set-ups for RVs run about $1,700 US for a portable tripod that you can set up in a campground, or about $5,500 for an automatic system mounted of the RV’s roof.  Monthly service runs $60 to $80 for decent bandwidth. And you have to have a clear view of the Southern sky for the system to work.  Even trees cause significant interference and will block out your satellite Internet signal.

Satellite Internet has other weaknesses, too.  The “lag”, or delay time caused by the time the signal takes to go into space and bounce back, causes echos that ruin VOIP (telephone) services, so you can’t count on saving money there.  Cell phone service will still be needed.  Also, anything that requires real-time responsiveness, like some video games, just don’t work well on satellite systems.  Not important to us but my oldest son would disagree vigorously.

If you are “digital nomads” like us, you have to be connected.  We continue to run our business everyday. Without Internet, and particularly without cell service, we are sunk. We just might be wandering paupers.  So this is an issue close to our hearts – and wallets.

Anyway, we’ll see what we do.  This is an important and apparently little recognized market.  It is the Internet that makes my mobile lifestyle possible.  In urban areas worldwide there is no issue.  But the boonies, even here in North America, may just be becoming the 21st century’s version of the Third World – disconnected and forgotten.

We never know when we can be in touch, so don’t worry if you don’t hear from us for a day or two.  I’ll post whenever I can.

All the best,

Hugh

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A Beautiful Evening With My Kids

Shooting Star ImageDear Friend,

Tonight my kids and I took in quite a light show.

You see, we were sitting on a grassy bank overlooking Lake Winnipeg, in Manitoba, Canada.  It was about 11 p.m., a bit late for them to be up, but the only time to experience what we saw.

Lake Winnipeg is no ordinary lake.  From where we were we could not see the opposite shore, creating the impression that we were on some inland sea.

The moon rose slowly, directly off the beach to the east, while a storm of falling stars raged overhead, and a brewing thunderstorm put on a lightning show to the south.  All the while, the sky around us was crystal clear, and we could see, in the dark night, what seemed like all of the stars of the Milky Way.

A cool breeze picked up off the lake, and we just lay there, staring up at the sky.  Nearby, a group of teens had a roaring campfire and were laughing and singing, but not too loudly.  They didn’t spoil the scene.  Instead they seemed to fit naturally into it.

My youngest son had never seen shooting stars before tonight.  And I held him in my arms as he saw his first.  We talked about the science.  And the beauty.  And the peace that was the moment.

That moment will never die, because it will always be with me.  I hope that it is always with them as well.

All the best,

Hugh

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A Great River, A Big Country.

Dear Friend,

A few weeks ago I wrote about a great little boat ride that I took with my family, and about the old Cajun boat captain who regaled us with his own unique wit and accent.

At that time we were exploring the waters of the Mississippi delta, where the mighty Mississippi River flows into the Gulf of Mexico.

Today, the ladies took the day off to rent a car and visit the headwaters of that same Mississippi River.

Yes.  By headwaters, I mean the beginning of the Mississippi River, here in Bemidji, Minnesota.  In fact, my youngest got baptized in it (well, she fell in, anyway).

The idea that we have gone from Fort Worth, Texas, through the southeast US, up through the Mid-Atlantic, then over to the fields of the Mid-West, and finally to within a short hop of Winnipeg, Manitoba, is mind boggling.

But here we are.  (Aren’t diesel engines great! ;-))

Today, my kids heard the name “Paul Bunyan,” apparently for the first time.  When I was a kid, everyone knew who Paul Bunyan was.  How have I failed my children?

Tomorrow, unless we lazily change our mind again (and the WiFi at this campground is pretty good), we shall head off to Winnipeg, and soak up its luscious wonders.

It felt good to take a long nap today.  The boys stayed in, and I got to a bunch of email and other junk that I just had to catch up on.

Funny, except for the driving, I have found that I am much more productive on the road than I am “back home.”  I like the simplicity of life here, without all of the schedules.  Yes, there are definitely places that we want to see.  And no, I will not be driving in the Rockies when the snow starts flying (I’m a Southern boy at heart).  But other than those broad parameters, there is simply no agenda.  We are home wherever we are.  Moving.  Or sitting still.

There are still things to do, of course.  I think I might have screwed up the leveling pads on the Warrior when I put it in reverse and forgot they were still down.  They finally went up, but all the lights are blinking like crazy and I can’t get them to stop.  And I can’t seem to clean the last bit of fun stuff out of the “black” tank (where the toilet drains).  Maybe a good bumpy ride will take care of that.

Anyway, if anyone has recommendations for us at this point, for places to visit or whatever, or if you have questions about how you can take your family life in a more carefree direction, just post a reply note to this post.  I’d love to talk!

As always, all the best,

Hugh

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