How Much Do You Need?

Dear Friend,

Yesterday I wrote about why you need not fear making a change to your lifestyle simply because your financial situation is uncertain.

Today I am writing about what living a more adventurous lifestyle will really cost you.

My family has traveled to Costa Rica, Argentina, and all over the US and Canada.  Certainly all of that travel, considering the price of fuel, lodging and whatnot, means that living an adventurous lifestyle is an indulgence of the rich.

Sure, it’s easy to talk about what families ought to be doing if you are the Moneybags family and you can do anything that you want anyway.

Well, if you are the Moneybags family, you don’t really need me.  Except perhaps to remind you that you do have the means and therefore you have no excuse not to live a more adventurous life with your family.

But if you are like most folks, money isn’t rolling in the ditches these days.  And starting off on some expensive extended vacation to Katmandu just isn’t in the budget.

Living a more adventurous life really means living a life that isn’t driven by momentum.  A consciously created life.  Going to Katmandu may just be the adventure of a lifetime.  But if it isn’t in the budget right now, that’s OK.

You see, you have nothing to prove.  You don’t have to make some grand gesture in order to show the world that your family is now “Uber Cool” ’cause you are hobnobbing with lions in Kenya or whatever.

Your only task is to take control of the direction of your life and steer it in the direction of your unique dreams, regardless of what those dreams might be.

I suspect that most of us are secretly rather boring.  At least we think that we are.  We aren’t into some of that stuff that popular media tells us is cool.

So what?  It’s time to live for you, not for your image.  And the first step in that process is to take full possession of your true identity, and begin to live the life that you were always meant to live.

If your dream life is traveling from one stamp collection convention to the next, and you are not doing that now, then it’s time to get licking! 🙂

In other words, to live adventurously means to take action that is currently outside of your comfort zone.  Not because it’s outside of your comfort zone, but because it’s what you were always meant to do.

It means daring to get off the dime, to disturb your comfortable misery, and get on with your life.

And traveling to stamp collecting conventions, or whatever floats your boat, is usually no more expensive than what you’re doing right now.

Ready to rock?  You can afford it!

All the best,

Hugh

I'm Broke!

Dear Friend,

Let’s face it.  The number one reason (or excuse) that most of us use to avoid even thinking about making a major change in our family’s lifestyle is fear about our financial situation.

Especially in today’s unstable economic environment, most folks are holding their breath and hoping that they can simply hold it all together.

With that in mind, this might seem like a bad time to be planning a major lifestyle change.

But the opposite is true.

For one thing, the process of reconsidering your lifestyle starts with taking inventory of the lifestyle that you are living now.

Many of us have been living a lifestyle of “conspicuous consumption.”  We don’t realize that we are putting ourselves under considerable pressure to meet the financial demands that this lifestyle has put on us.  And yet such a lifestyle rarely leads to happiness.

We don’t want to think about “lowering” our lifestyle standards, when during times of great stress we need more than ever the relief that comes from indulging in these expensive habits.

But perhaps we are approaching life all wrong.

What if we didn’t have all of the stress that our shopping sprees now serve to allay?  Maybe our current lifestyle creates a self perpetuating cycle of stress and temporary relief, that simply cannot be sustained financially in the long term?

Perhaps a time like today is exactly the proper time to reconsider the way you and your family live?

I don’t propose lowering your lifestyle standards.  I propose that you raise them.  Substantially!

You just don’t need as much money as you think you do to live a great life.  And, what you save on meaningless things can serve to pay for treats of more meaningful experiences.

So don’t let your knee-jerk reactions make you avoid bringing real change to your family’s lifestyle.

Stop running in fear.  Stop the runaway train.  Take stock of yourself.  And then take stock of your family’s lifestyle.

It’s time to live a better life.

All the best,

Hugh

Stopping a Runaway Train

Dear Friend,

Most folks have no idea what the term “being” really means.

Sure, there are human “beings,” “beings” from other worlds, or perhaps I’m talking about bee keeping?

Note that each of those definitions refer to things, or actions.  I am talking about none of these.

Western culture has no real explanation for the concept of “being.”  We define our lives through action, because action gets things done.

I’m a fan of action.  At least, when it is directed for a purpose.  Or when it helps to define our being.

I am talking about this apparently esoteric topic because the mere act of becoming aware of your being can stop our fast paced lives in their tracks.  BAM!

Such a quiet, still concept as taking note of our existence, separate from our physical characteristics or of our constant actions, turns us from mere machines into true human beings.

The problem with most of our lives is that we never take note of this being.  Sometimes it’s called, “stopping to smell the roses.”  Though that definition sounds so fleeting.

To take note of your being is to actually stop time in its tracks.  It is to set yourself apart from the definitions others put onto your life and to get cozy with you, and all that is around you.

It is impossible to feel carried away by your life when you can take note of your being.  It is impossible to feel overwhelmed or stressed when you understand that our lifestyles are just imaginary constructs that we have built, or let others build for us.  We can change anything and everything.  If only we weren’t afraid to do so.  And clueless as to what to do next.

Step one to getting off the run-away train that is your life is to simply stop it dead in its tracks.  Don’t worry, you won’t be hurt.  And you know why? Because your life has a pause button.  It’s called taking stock of your being.

Meditation, prayer, awareness of your higher self – call it what you will – getting in touch with your being is step one to escaping a life of quiet desperation.

Talk again soon,

Hugh

That look ...

Dear Friends,

What drives me to write my books and this blog is a consistent reaction I have when I see the eyes of people who think they are imprisoned by their lives.

Mind you, these folks almost never say they they are imprisoned, and I suspect that most of them would vehemently deny it if you asked them out of the blue.

Yet, it is this sense of imprisonment and a corresponding disappointment with life that drives the emotions of “quiet desperation” that secretly dominate the hearts of the vast majority of people I run into.

Certainly, life has its beautiful moments.  The problem is, they are usually fleeting.  Perhaps their main effect is to remind you of the joy you one enjoyed as a child, but that now seems as distant as your childhood.

I feel driven to awaken these folks to what can be, now, not “later,” once they’ve accomplished the laundry list of prerequisites to happiness they have imposed on themselves – got to make money, got to get a promotion, got to get this next sale, got to get my kids through college, bla bla bla.

That is all a bunch of bu** s**t.

Yet getting through to these folks is like trying to get the attention of a freight train as it flies by you.  They just aren’t paying attention.  They are so completely submerged in their own little boring worlds, they hear and see only what they expect to.  And my message is definitely unexpected.  Or is rejected as a bunch of good feeling hooey.

So I keep talking.  And tweeting.  and delivering my message to as many people as I can.  If only a few take notice, that is an accomplishment.

Practically the entire Earth’s human population is my targeted audience.  And I am only one guy.  But I don’t have some agenda, or particular path that I insist you must take.

My mission is a simple one – to get your attention, and then to get you to seriously consider one question – what is that hole in your heart that used to be filled?  Then consider these questions:   Was your ex-spouse really the cause of all of your miseries, or just a convenient scape goat?  Do you really know your children?  Is this the life that you always dreamed of?  Are you prepared to settle for the rest of your life?  Do you really have a choice?

Have I gotten your attention yet?  If so, great!

Now don’t be afraid.  Keep asking the questions.  Don’t fear being depressed by the answers.

There is a way through this maze.  And it doesn’t require abandonment of your existing life.  And most who do choose to abandon their life and start over – call them “human bankruptcies” – just end up creating another life that mirrors their old one.

If you are still with me, won’t you stay with me?  Reply to this post.  Chat on Twitter.  Do some research.

The light at the end of the tunnel is there.  And it’s not really so far away.  We all just need a guide to get there.

Are you ready?

Talk to you again soon,

Hugh

Just Another Quiet Evening in Paradise....

Dear Friend,

This morning I awoke to a glorious view over the salty waters of … well, is it Puget Sound up here?  I’m not really sure.

Anyway, it’s beautiful just the same.  I feel like Meriweather Lewis after crossing a very big continent and suddenly coming upon the last thing you expect in the middle of the mountains – an ocean!

Vancouver Island is bigger than most folks realize.  It’s three-fourths the size of Switzerland!  And the western portion, that borders the Pacific Ocean, is almost uninhabited.

We have found a nice campground with great Internet right on the waterfront.  I hope this locale will serve as a base of operations for our exploratory activities.

All are well and the Warrior is dirty, but running great.

Back in a bit,

Hugh

That's Gotta Hurt!

Dear Friend,

I recently had a Twitter friend ask me to post some uplifting quotes related to “taking kindness as weakness” and “being pushed too far.”

Of course I did my best to find a few that might assuage her pain.  At least I hope they helped a little.

This reminded me of a common bumper sticker I see around my home.  It is published by the local women’s shelter.  “Love is not abuse,” it says.

Abuse comes in many forms.  And generally it does not involve obvious physical battering.  Verbal and psychological abuse, even when subtle, can hurt.  These do not communicate love.

I have no idea what this woman’s true experience was.  But I do know that her comment about “being pushed too far” indicates that she is not saying “ouch” when her partner’s actions cause pain.  And that is her first mistake.

Each of us has a right to be respected.  We cannot make others love us.  But we can and must require others to respect us – to respect our boundaries, and our feelings.

I hope that the next time this woman encounters an experience where another, who she probably loves, does or says something hurtful, she will say so, and not just “take it.”

Acknowledging pain does not require a fight, either.  If you think you have to fight someone simply to express your true feelings, then you are emotionally submitting yourself, like a slave, to that person.  And unless you truly fear for your safety, this is your fault, not the other person’s.

So, if you find yourself feeling like my Twitter friend, remember – when something hurts, you need to say “ouch,”  and the person causing the hurt needs to hear it.  Their reaction to this experience should be all you need to decide if it’s time to move on or not.

I hope this helps you, friend!

All the best,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

The rain drops pop on the little vent above my bed. They remind me of how cozy I am in my little rolling home.

Outside, the temperature hovers just above freezing. But my family is safe and warm beside me.

Our little world contrasts so well with the great big world we watch passing by each day from our windshield.

Deserts, snow-capped mountains, valleys, aqua rivers, and a rainbow of fall colors greet us so often as to immerse our minds in a glorious blanket of beauty.

We near the great Pacific. The limit of our planned journey. Oh, but if our home might sail to places over the horizon! Imagine what wonders await us there!

Life is a journey, they say. I say that those who journey, truly live.

All the best,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

When I started writing about the Families Without Limits phenomenon, I really didn’t think much about the worldwide appeal of the concept.

Like most North Americans, I was so wrapped up in my own world that I failed to consider the rest of humanity.

What I have discovered, however, is just how widespread the desire really is for escaping the boring life and bringing your family along for the ride.

In a recent count, this blog had followers from the following nations (and growing):

India, Pakistan, UAE, Sri Lanka, Iran, Indonesia, Malaysia, Malawi, Nigeria, Tanzania, Australia, Papua New Guinea, Vietnam, Switzerland, Germany, United Kingdom, Canada, USA.

That’s quite a cross section of the human race. Only South America and Antarctica are missing from the continental representation.

As you can imagine, I am quite humbled by the response to this message. But I am also energized by the drive to do all that I can to get this movement’s message out to as many folks in all of those countries and continents as I possibly can.

Won’t you help us out? The best way you can support this effort is to begin to change your own lifestyle, and to let others see you do it.

Instead of neighbors buying stuff to “keep up with the Joneses,” how about we all try to out do each other in the pursuit of our own unique dreams?

What a cool thought. You game?

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

I have found that there are two approaches to achieving a goal.  You can focus on the process – that is, focus on the things you need to do to be a success – or you can focus on the goal, and sort of let the process happen.

The first method sounds more responsible.  Certainly you have to master methods and techniques that will allow you to get what you want?

But, experience has taught me that too many folks become obsessed with the process, or even fall in love with it, and as a result, stay perpetually involved in that process, never quite reaching their stated goals.

If you want to achieve something, then you need to obsessively focus on that goal.  No matter what process you choose to pursue, keep your focus on the end goal.

At times you may find that a better path to geting what you want involves occasional shifts from what you thought was the most direct path to your goal.  If you had been focusing instead on the process, you wouldn’t have noticed the need for that shift.

You might even discover a completely unexpected path.  And if you want success, you need to be open to the possibility of such surprises.

So, don’t forget why you started your effort in the first place.  Don’t let yourself get distracted or spin your wheels.

Stay on target, and bounce back after each failure.

Ignore naysayers.  Don’t worry about what others think.  All of that is just noise.  You are a missile.  Your target is your goal.  That’s all you need to know.

Do this, and success is certain.

All the best,

Hugh