Ain't I Handsome?

Dear Friend,

Before you can even begin to reorder your life, you must surrender.

Most people cringe at the thought of surrender.  We are fighters.  We don’t just give up.

I am not suggesting that you surrender to others.  I am suggesting that you surrender to yourself.

You don’t have to like your life or every aspect of yourself to surrender.  You just have to accept that you and your life exist, and that this is the way you are, now.

This may sound kinda obvious, but I submit to you that many people do not want to look at themselves long enough to accept the way they are.

Now some have inflated self-images that they truly believe in.  If this is you, then you have no worries.  You know that the mirror lies.  So when you look, you see what you expect to see.  Excellence.  I’m thinking about the guy with the beer belly who “looks” in the mirror but sees Mr. Universe.  Why deflate that balloon?  What would be the point?

Other folks are afraid of what they might see.  Or of what they haven’t yet achieved.  Of a new wrinkle, or of the shadows of old emotional scars that they might see in their own eyes.

People instinctively think, really without “thinking” about this at all, that to “surrender” to what they see in the mirror is to give up on improving themselves.  They have an older, perhaps more Utopian image of themselves in mind, and they fear that taking note and accepting their reality might just depress them to the point that they lose heart and truly give up, surrendering to a depressing image of themselves beyond hope.

Actually, I’m suggesting that you should hold on to that Utopian image, if it’s what you truly want for yourself.  But I’m also suggesting that it’s time to stop living a fantasy that you don’t really believe in and start making that Utopian image a reality.  And to do that, you must accept what you really are, now, warts and all.  And then, love it!

When you do this, you do two things.

First, you take your first critical step in the process of transforming your life for the better.

Second, you acknowledge and more clearly find those aspects of you and your life that you want to improve.  Now that you’ve seen those wrinkles, you won’t get that annoying image out of your mind until those wrinkles are gone – or until you have adopted a new, positive image of yourself with “character lines.”  😉

So I say, surrender to the only person whom you can truly trust – you.  Then begin your battle for the best you that you can possibly be.

All the best,

Hugh

Me an' Ozzy Shooting a Few MP-40 Rounds on the Range (Ain't PhotoShop Grand?)

Dear Friend,

They say that you can do anything in Vegas.

Well, apparently, you can.

My older kids noticed a brochure on the tourist racks for a place called “The Gun Store.”

Yeah, I know, a gun store?  “But dad, they have all of these uber old guns from World War II and stuff and they even let grown ups fire some of them.”

My wife was less than excited about this.  Being a guy, and a Warrior at heart, I admit that my curiosity was up.

Apparently, this place is famous worldwide.  Ozzy Osbourne is a regular.  We had done the typical Vegas tourist stuff, and this place was on the road out of town, so we decided that we’d see what the fuss was about.

Well, this place really was uber.  I’m not a big gun person and if you hate guns or whatever I understand that this may make you uncomfortable, but in this case my love of history and my own male nature just got the best of me.

They had historic and modern guns all over their walls.  It was like a museum.  But in this museum, for a price, you can do more than just look.

They had an MP-40.  That’s one of those German machine guns that you see in all the movies (worth up to $45,000 each and impossible to buy on the antique gun market).  And yes, I just had to try it out on their range (see photo above).  It was a once in a lifetime experience.  Then there was an authentic Tommy gun, the kind that the gangsters used in the 1930s. And much more.

Just the money sitting around this place was unbelievable.  All of this stuff must have cost them a fortune and taken years to assemble.  I have done some historical reenacting in my past and seeing and experiencing all of this history was just awesome.

The whole time I was guided by a highly-trained professional who was a US special forces guy and an expert in martial arts.  Plus a very nice person too.

Was this a testosterone-filled environment?  Yes.  But a first-class one.  And just the kind of quirky and unusual non-touristy stuff that I love to find when we travel.

Frankly, I enjoy the fact that I have no trouble blending my own peaceful spirituality with my more animal passions in a strange looking blend that nevertheless works for me.

I believe that only when we embrace every part of who we are, without fear, can we truly find peace and happiness.  And have uber cool days like today, too.  😉

For me, that is the essence of what it means to be a Passionate Warrior.

All the best,

Hugh

Vegas At Night

Dear Friend,

We’re in Vegas, baby!

Our campground is the KOA Circus Circus, right on the Vegas strip.  At night, our windows are lit up by the colorful lights of the famous casinos that line this route.

The gang headed out last night for an eight hour tour of the magic and mysteries of Las Vegas.

I, on the other hand, was laid up by some wear and tear on my carcass – the inevitable result of nearly 10,000 miles of driving over three months.  I will say no more on that.  I hope that by the morning I will be fit to hit some high spots with everybody else.

Either way, tomorrow afternoon we head off to the Grand Canyon to experience one of those “must see” tourist sights.  I am looking forward to it, however, as I have found on this journey that nature rarely disappoints.

Every stop we seem to enjoy our experience a bit better.  At least I do, even when my body doesn’t cooperate.

We have found that freedom is a beautiful and precious thing to experience.  Won’t you try it sometime, too?

All the best,

Hugh

Inspire Your Family

Dear Friend,

Families don’t really exist until they “connect.”

Personally, I don’t define a family by who its members are, or even by how those members might be related to each.

I define a family by how it behaves, and by the degree of connectedness and cohesion between its members.  Even more, I define a family by the degree of personal respect and compassion that its members express toward each other.

I have a feeling that my definition leaves out a lot of “families.”

My goal is to inspire families.  I want folks to realize that the sort of qualities that I just mentioned are not “pie in the sky.”  When you live the kind of life that you are meant to live, families get closer.  They learn to trust and better understand each other.  And even if folks disagree or conflict, experiencing life together creates a sense of respect.

Real conflict between people is often preceded by an effort to dehumanize the person you are conflicting with.  This is natural and subconscious.  It is hard to dehumanize someone that you live close with every day.  So any conflict is usually boiled down to its simple essence, and is easier to address.

I thought that I knew my family before we began our new lifestyle.  And I thought that they knew me.  But you would be surprised by what you can discover about people when you really spend time with them.

I hope that my posts light tiny sparks within you, sparks that challenge the way you currently live your life.

I dare you not to put those sparks out.  Let ‘um burn.  And see what happens next.  I promise, life only gets better from here.

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

Dear Friend,

Today, the Warrior left the Earth that I know and entered a strange world of towering sand dunes and brown-orange volcanic rocks.  In the distance, low brown hills rise above a rubble filled surface.

The sky above us is cloudless.  The sun is quite hot, and glares so bright that we cannot keep our eyes open when looking in its general direction.

There is little sign of life.  No trees, animals, or human development,  As far as the eye can see, there is only this scene of desolation.

Welcome to the lowest spot on Earth.  That’s right – this is where the Mars rovers get checked out before being sent to our celestial neighbor, but it is on Earth.

Death Valley, California is near the Nevada border.  Getting here we climbed a 5,000 foot mountain, and then descended to below sea level.  It was the one and only time on this journey of ours when the Warrior’s temperature gauge started to concern me a bit.

After buying new coats for everyone back in British Columbia, the temperature in the next few days here is forecast to reach 98 degrees Fahrenheit.

Today we climbed among those huge dunes and imagined ourselves lost in the Sahara.  Although we were not out for long, I found the heat draining and we all grabbed cold bottles of water when we returned to the Warrior.

My youngest son took this opportunity to go swimming in the sand.  My oldest son and youngest daughter rolled down the dunes as well.

Needless to say, the Warrior needs a good vacuuming.

Tonight I casually spoke to several of my kids about our trip so far.  They candidly told me that the best part of our journey was the fact that they got to see and spend so much time with mom and dad.  My oldest said that he had never really gotten to know me so well before now, and he didn’t want it to stop.

All agreed, in fact, that they did not want our journey to end.

I was impressed with that.

Tonight, as I write this, my wife and kids are swimming under a crystal clear sky in a thermal pool brightly lit by the full moon.  The water has no chemicals, just a constant flow of warm water from deep under the Earth.

Despite this bit of paradise, I do have some concerns. 😉

The Warrior has been springing leaks like a kitchen colander.  We are actually thinking of picking up our pace and dropping her off early at the dealer service center in Texas.  My wife has suggested buying round trip tickets out of Dallas to Virginia.  The airfare prices listed online are apparently under $200 each.  We could then spend the Christmas season back home and then fly back on the return ticket to Dallas after New Years, continuing our journey at that point.

There are a lot of places we want to see before parking in our driveway.  And I really cannot imagine going back to my old lifestyle ever again.  That’s the honest truth.

More to come as we get an Internet signal.

All the best,

Hugh

Our New Pal

Dear Friend,

As we travel across a continent, we inevitably make new friends.  Some are just fleeting.  Others last a lifetime.

At our current campground in southern California, we have met and made a new friend, who has had quite an impact on both the kids and the adults.

Our new friend’s name is Kindle.  Actually, it’s Morgan, and his owner’s name is Kindle.  But the kids decided that Kindle was a better name for him.

That’s right, Kindle is an animal – specifically, a big yellow tabby cat.  Kindle’s main loves are eating and sleeping.  Or is it sleeping and eating?

Anyway, this cat has essentially moved in.  And this is in spite of the fact that my youngest insists on picking him up, throwing him over her shoulder, and walking him around the RV.

We will be back on the road tomorrow, and my oldest daughter is crying because we have to leave Kindle behind.  I’m sure that this cat will get over it, though.

Kindle’s owners, who also own the campground that we are staying in, told us that this sort of behavior is par for the course for their pet.

Once, Kindle crawled into a boat that was being towed by campers staying here.  He wasn’t discovered until these fishermen were well offshore.  But Kindle didn’t seem to mind a bit.  Eventually, they brought him home again.

The owners told us that they fully expect their cat to one day drive off with some oblivious campers, never to be seen again.

We will never forget our new friend.  And the experience reminds us of the cat that we left back home when we began our trip this past summer.

Oh well, another journey, and more friends, are just ahead.

All the best,

Hugh

Ya Just Gotta Be You

Dear Friend,

One of the concerns that I had before I decided to take my life (and my family’s lives) in a completely new direction was what people around me might think.

You know what I’m talking about.  For some folks, being different comes easy.  But for those of us who grew up among the cliques and jock/freak/nerd labels of public high school, you can’t help but feel a bit of a cringe when you realize that what you are about to do is, well, different.

I think that most guys wouldn’t want to admit that they have this twinge but, in the very beginning at least, when the thought of taking command of your life first begins to kindle in the back of your mind, such a silly little fear can be just enough to snuff out that little spark – perhaps forever.

I have to admit, today I rarely think about this.  I am convinced that the lifestyle that my family is living is quite superior to what most of our peers have allowed their families to wallow in.

Yet my primary goal with this blog is to reach people who, perhaps, just had a tiny spark of inspiration.  Maybe you just had a great day with your kids, and you wondered if there was any way in the world that that moment could last forever.  Maybe you just felt a bit jealous as a you heard about a friend of a friend who is living their life to the fullest.

These moments are fleeting.  Yet it is how we react to these fleeting moments, which invariably occur when we least expect them, that will determine the quality of our lives.

Yes, it’s that big.

And we have been trained by life to ignore such thoughts in favor of keeping our nose to the grindstone, lest we not get our work done.

I’m here to tell you to stop the work.  Stop whatever you are doing (as long as you can do so safely) and really let that fleeting thought sink in.

And don’t let that old fear of being “different” have any effect on you.  Instead, turn the “being different” fear into a “being incredibly cool” thrill.  Now that your inner high schooler can understand.

It is the little sparks that start the wildfires of our life.  Don’t snuff yours out before it has a chance to burn.  Throw gasoline on it instead!

All the best,

Hugh

Are You In The Way?

Dear Friend,

My two oldest kids have been invited to take part in a Model United Nations program at the UN in New York.

My wife and I are excited about this, but our kids weren’t so sure.

Specifically, my oldest was (and usually is) suspicious of anything that adults organize on his behalf.  In fact, the mere fact that something is being presented to him as “educational” makes him highly suspicious of its content, and, ultimately, poorly motivated to pursue it.

Today we sat down and had a talk about this.  Their teacher back home has sent them a variety of projects to complete in order to prepare themselves for this event.  These projects make logical sense, but in the end, they really are make-work.

So I laid it out like this.

First, I understood that they were getting old to just “do what they were told.”  And I didn’t want my kids to grow up to be merely obedient, people who follow orders well.  In my mind I visualize the “good German” in the World War II era, and I want none of it.  I want them to have the opportunity to be leaders, and to otherwise self-direct their lives as I strive to do.

I also knew that they had already indicated to their teacher and to us that they were going to pursue this project.  If they backed out now, it might cause their class back home some problems, and it would, frankly, disappoint me and my wife.

On the other hand, this really was their decision, and if they were not going to be 100% committed, then they should back out now.  Anything that they pursue they should pursue to excellence.  I told them that what they do and how they do it is a reflection of their personal standards of quality. In fact, it is a measure of the how they perceive their own value.   So, they needed to do it right or don’t even start.

I and their mom would accept and respect whatever decision they made.

My oldest decided to do it.  I asked him why.  He said he would not let his best pal back home down by leaving him to carry the load without him.

My daughter was more tentative, but she also decided to go through with it.

For the rest of the day both worked enthusiastically on this project.  In fact, we all worked together.

They will be representing a West African country.  My oldest decided that he would wear traditional dress to the UN, not a suit (he hates them).  Our research uncovered that this would be appropriate.

So why am I telling you all of this?

During our time together, I have learned a great deal about my kids.  I thought that I knew them well before we left, but now I know better, and feel better about my role as their father and mentor.

I learned that kids need to choose their own path, and not have it handed to them in nice neat curriculum packets.

I have learned that my kids don’t need to learn “stuff.”  They need to understand the world, and to find their own way in it.  They need to find what they are passionate about, and to pursue that, even though they may be quite uncertain whether or not they truly know what they are talking about.

They need to understand what it means to make a commitment, and the consequences of completing or failing to complete that commitment.

They need to learn the self discipline that it takes to get through the hard parts so that they can reach the good ones.

I have discovered that they really already know all of this.  They just aren’t willing to go through the hard parts in order to get to what I think are the good parts.

In other words, kids have to set their own personal goals, based on what matters most to them.  And they can’t do that when we, as parents, assign their goals to them like household chores.

As their dad, I try to subtly discern their natural passions, then encourage them to develop personal goals built around those natural passions, and finally to help them to discover healthy methods of exercising those passions in pursuit of their goals.

This type of learning and living environment is contagious.

My younger son got into the act next.  He loves the weather, so after talking we all decided to visit the National Severe Storms Laboratory in Norman, Oklahoma, on our way back east.  That’s the facility that tracks severe weather and, especially, tornadoes, across the US.  And tonight, we watched the movie, “Twister,” to get into the mood.

Learning is fun when your kids lead the way.  The first step, however, is to trust them to lead, and to bite your tongue while you get out of their way.

Can you manage that?  We try.  Sometimes I think we even succeed.

I measure our degree of success by the gleam of light in my kid’s eyes.  If it’s there, we must be doing things right.  If not, then they are either sick or, more likely, we are suppressing them.  We are getting in their way.

At least, that’s the way I see it.  I hope that we are doing things right.  And I hope that you are able to glean something useful from our experience as well.

All the best,

Hugh

The Valley of Death

Dear Friend,

Tonight we are just outside of Death Valley National Park in California.

We are going to hang here at a campground for a bit to get our bearings and work with the kids’ schooling.  We have found that we need to stop every few days while traveling large distances to catch our breath and recharge.

The Warrior is running great as usual.  However, several annoying “dummy lights” now glare at me from the dash where all was previously quiet.

When we purchased this motorhome, the dealer handed us a three-ring binder stuffed with more printed materials that I have ever seen in one package.  Unfortunately, what was not included in that bundle of warranty cards was the operator’s manual for a 2009 Chevy Kodiak C5500 medium duty truck with a Duramax diesel engine – aka – The Warrior.  Therefore, we have not a clue what those lights are telling us.

One light, I believe, is telling me that it’s time to change my engine oil.  However, I had the oil changed with synthetic oil in both the vehicle engine and the diesel generator just before we left.  These lights generally don’t measure the quality of the oil.  They are just on a timer and have to be reset by the mechanic after each oil change – something my friend who changed the oil for me likely did not do.

The other light, which just came on a few days ago, shows a gas pump (like at a gas station) with a symbol below it that looks like a filter or something.  I think that it’s telling me that it’s time to change the fuel filter.  Now, if this is also just on a timer, then I know that it will wait until we get to Texas in a couple of weeks.  And I have seen no loss of performance in the engine.  All of the other gauges continue to read normal and unchanged.

Of course, all of the literature on Death Valley warns you to make sure that everything is working perfectly on your vehicle before entering the Park, as many folks have died there after auto breakdowns.

That sounds exciting.

Oh well, I “think” that we are OK.  If you think otherwise, please let me know before I venture into the Valley of Death. 😉

I may miss some more posts this week, as there is apparently little or no Internet or cell coverage in Death Valley.

If you don’t hear from us again, I just want to say that I have been honored by your loyal following of this blog and it’s been great knowing ya.

😉

All the best,

Hugh