How To Be Happy

Dear Friend,

Everybody wants to be happy.

You’d be hard pressed to find someone who can honestly tell you he or she doesn’t (and if you do, don’t stand too close).

Looking For Happiness

We all look for happiness. Jefferson said that the essence of liberty was the freedom to pursue happiness.

If you could watch humanity from afar, you might imagine that we look like a bunch of ants, running around, building and destroying, and constantly looking or waiting for something to appear to make it all worth our effort. That’s how most of us “pursue” happiness.

We try to make money, because it sucks to be poor, especially when you get sick or someone you love is struggling. But is freedom from misery really happiness?

How To Find It

What is it we all really want? And where do we find it?

Well, I think I have the answer.

But, like most things profound, it’s way too simple to be true. I mean, if so many people, some of them brilliant, have been looking for this secret and haven’t found it, then this must be some kind of really complex issue. Like decoding DNA. We’d all look pretty stupid if the answer was staring us in the face all along, but somehow we couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see it.

The “Secret”

(No, not that Secret.)

A friend recently told me about a famous actor, now deceased, who visited his shrink every week for his entire adult life. He apparently had a lot of stuff to work out. But mostly, he just wanted to be happy, and this goal had managed to elude him. One day, late in his life, this guy stood up in his shrink’s office and announced, “Ya know, if I want to be happy, I guess I just have to decide to be happy.”

And that’s it, folks.

Sorry if you are disappointed. But everything I know, everything I’ve learned in life, tells me that this guy has it right.

Happiness doesn’t come from finally getting things to go your way. It doesn’t come from ease or comfort (although they make it easier for most of us). No. Happiness is the product of deciding to be happy – no matter what happens. Life happens. Sometimes it’s shit. Sometimes it’s great. Most of the time it just is. But what is happening to you on the outside does not determine what’s going on on the inside. You choose that. And if you want to be happy, choose to be happy. If you choose drama and suffering instead, consider that maybe you are getting some kind of secondary benefit from that drama. Maybe some part of you doesn’t want to let that go. Whatever.

So, there you go. That’ll be $300. You can pay my secretary on the way out.

Have a nice day!

Hugh

p.s.: How about you? Have you found happiness? What has worked? How have you broken out of life’s crazy spiral to discover what really matters? Post your experiences and thoughts below! And Thank You!