Your daughter is blessed to have a mom like you.

So few parents understand that the most important job a parent has is helping their kids to discover what joy can be in their lives. Or maybe it is just not to squash the joy that they are naturally born with?

Either way, we parents often get so caught up in doing the things we think a parent ought to do, and have not a clue whether those things help or hurt our kids.

You make a good comment about biology and experience. We know a family that never smiles. Not real smiles, anyway. And they never speak to you except in anger or they want something. The kids are eerily identical to the parents, and even the grandmother. It’s as if they are a family of clones.

I think this shows the power of biology. I’m not sure how much you or I could bring joy to their lives. And I suspect they wouldn’t derive joy from inspiring others either.

But there are many other children who have rarely seen real joy. When angels like you introduce them to such happy energy you may just save them from a lifetime of misery.

God bless you!

Hugh

You hit on something big.

Many of us don’t seem to know what we want. We go along with what the crowd says we ought to want, and feel afraid to admit it ain’t for us.

This kind of behavior must start in adolescence, where the need to fit in and be accepted is strong.

Instead of trying to fit into other people’s worlds, perhaps we need to spend more time getting to know ourselves? How can any of us pursue our joys if we have no idea who we really are?

Eastern societies have always emphasized the pursuit of self knowledge as an important skill for young people to master, but this is rare in Western cultures, where conformity to social expectations is emphasized. Maybe it’s time to borrow a page from the East?

Thanks for the great thoughts!

All the best,

Hugh

What’s important is that we aren’t trying to have it all. By “having it all”, we are investing so much in stuff we are suppose to want. Not stuff we actually care about.

I think joy is similar. People are so busy doing “joyful” things that aren’t joyful for them. For example, drinking wine is not joyful for me, but I keep trying to find a wine that I like so I can participate in wine conversations in social settings. I don’t like wine, so I need to stop investing in this just to please a standard. I wonder how many people even know what things REALLY bring them joy.

I do enjoy photography, so I’ll pursue that interest with guilt-free abundance (as long as it’s within my budget of course)!