Why is it that relationships are so hard?
When is a relationship a success?
Some people would say that if your relationship is perfect, it shouldn’t be so hard. Unfortunately, I’ve never met anyone in a perfect relationship.
I don’t know about you, but almost everyone that I know who married around the time that we did isn’t married anymore. Of course, the reasons vary. Infidelities, addiction, or just growing apart, there always seems to be some reason.
So, what does it take to make a relationship last?
I know that in my case, I have a huge amount of respect for my wife. And she pulls a big piece of the weight in our family. We are quite different as people, but that can be a good thing. You can be complementary. I think that we work together well as parents, though I tend to be much more laid back than she is.
I’ve heard that there are as many kinds of relationships as there are relationships. That makes comparing notes hard.
Maybe the key to happy, long-lasting relationship success is how much you each draw positive energy from the other?
I don’t believe that a relationship is a success simply because it lasts a long time. There are many Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton dysfunctional relationships out there that seem to go on forever, to the misery of all around them. Some people seem to feed off the negative energy of others.
There are folks who claim that people were never meant to stay together for fifty years or more. They say that in pre-history, life spans were short. A lifetime relationship ended when the wife died in childbirth at 25 or the husband died of cholera at 30. So the idea of a lifetime relationship when the individuals live as long as people do today is a new concept. It is untried. And perhaps it is the rarity when a happy relationship lasts ’til death.
Personally, I try to focus on today. Now. I think a relationship that works today is a success. Who knows what tomorrow brings.
What do you think?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What do you think best defines relationship success ?